Suffolk 2006, Tour Diary
I sit here on Monday evening, the 21st August, amongst the administrative detritus of the 2006 Mandarins Suffolk tour, wondering what to write about the previous four days. They have been good days, for sure; and despite the many little hassles that come with the post of Tour Manager, Suffolk marks a small highlight of each year. Just cricket and cricketers, with a little tennis and poker thrown in. One thought: how did we run this thing without mobile phones?
Originally this was to be a selection of annotated photographs, with a few grumpy comments and sly asides thrown in. But having got to this point, I do feel moved to write more, if only because from two days, I failed to get any pictures at all. That said, here's one of a few friends looking forward to a nice game of cards.
It starts on Thursday, in the rain, in Reading. I have a rather nerdy interest in meteorology, and the weather forecast for the weekend was the worst for years. It's ironic that Suffolk is reputed to be the driest part of the country, yet we always seem to lose a fixture to rain.
Not, however, in 2006: fierce storm cells passed over us by night, and to either side by day. No game was played in rain, or was even threatened by it. Which just goes to show how much use is a 5-day weather forecast.
So we're in the car - just thee and me - and the phone rings. It's Barrie. I don't answer it because my rotten driving skills preclude me from multi-tasking a steering wheel and a dialogue with Bazzer. Next junction, the phone rings again; it's Barrie, again. Junctions pass one by one and calls come in harmony, about 2 calls for every 3 junctions. There are six or seven rings, but still I resist the temptation to commit a felony on the highway.
We're on the M25 now, and a text arrives. I look at this because it's a new distraction and anyway, Barrie is a mobile free zone, so it can't be him. It's from Chris.
“Call Barrie”.
The thing is, Barrie isn't even touring this year! What's exercising him is food, specifically tomorrow night's Tour Dinner at The Station. Eventually I have to stop and take the call. Barrie is pleased and I'm glad that he is so dedicated to our gastronomic pleasures.
Sorry, I must be boring you by now. Let's have some cricket.
Mandarins
208-3 (Thomas 80, Madzarevic 82*)
BEAT
University of Essex 117
(Baker 3/17, JC Gray 3/28) by 91 runs.
The scoreline sums up the match, as Essex were without some regulars, even to the point of recruiting moi as 11th man.
Mandarins started well, with Marc's 82 containing many delicious shots around the ground. Stefan Madzarevic's innings was slow to start, but the man – to be fair – has talked a lot of runs in the past and must have now felt obliged to walk this particular talk.
And he did. Accelerating away towards the end of the innings, he made 50 in boundaries alone, including one enormous six. Modesty forbids me from pointing out who bowled the short rubbish that claimed Marc's wicket in the first ball of his spell; and pride forbids me from highlighting where a lot of Stef's runs came from....
Essex innings started well enough but faltered in the middle. Having turned up with a little niggle in one ankle, Richard Eames was unlucky to get a ball slammed into the other ankle whilst standing in the slips. He came off and skipped the next game, but thankfully no lasting injury resulted. Liam Colley was looking pretty dangerous with the ball - and not just because of the occasional very full toss – finishing with 2-17 off 6.5.
Turning the ball square, Chris Healey was impressing the selectors on an unusually soft green track. Sadly, this kind of competence is rarely rewarded, though only 14 were scored off 8.
There was, as you might imagine, some “chat” from the crowded infield for my brief innings, which ended soon enough with it's very own Chris Reid moment – retreating foolishly from a highish, slowish, JC Gray full toss that hit the stumps half-way up.
We're back in the car now, which as you will have realised is not a place I feel in natural harmony with my environment. I have written before about the roundabout circus in Colchester, but we're following Chris Healey, who certainly knows his way around these parts, and we do leave Colchester successfully, heading north on the A12.
It's not that I don't know the way, but I'm happy to follow “Chris”; even now, as he leaves the A12 rather earlier than expected, to take a short cut through the small roads to Framlingham. It's already dark, the trees and hedge rows tower over us, and the place names we pass seem only vaguely familiar. Clouds of insects flow over the windscreen, and the headlights are full-on whenever I lose sight of of the leading car. I mean, that is still Chris up front, isn't it?
You can see where this is going, I suppose. Eventually, so did I; lucky that “Chris” just happened to be heading towards somewhere near Framlingham.
Quite some time later I end up at the Prince Of India. Feeling the need to discount my lateness to some worthy excuse, I juggle with several scenarios, none of which sound very likely. Never much good at keeping my own counsel, there is amazement round the table at what had happened, and speculation about what the guy might have been thinking as he was trailed round Suffolk B-roads at night by a tense-looking bloke in a blue Renault.
Luckily the conversation soon changes to idle talk about stuff that's missing.
Incidentally, we liked the usual curry so much that most of us did it again on Saturday. Barrie would have been aggrieved to have missed this, I feel sure.
The accommodation at Kerrison House, it turned out, had no cutlery, bowls or any of that kind of stuff. Nothing except a single mug, which was inconvenient for those drinking wine on Thursday evening. Three shared the mug, and the wine, and the rest of us drank Stella (aka. Wife-Beater in London Town Speak, I learn). Only Martin Hurst grumbled – about the tannin content of the vintage. Not the vintners fault; more like tea residue I'd say.
If no one was much concerned about misplaced kitchen equipment, there was anxiety that the bag contained a dearth of balls. But it was true: the Mandarins had no balls – a good opportunity for a cheap joke.
Chris
Healey was sent on a shopping trip, but had been anticipated by
Richard and Martin, who had already bought
Framlingham's entire stock of cricket balls before 10am.
Oh, and I also found some kitchen stuff too.
Finally, a chance for an all action photo to break up the tales of domestic stress. Not much happening here, but Damian and Marc (I think) are in the crease.
Mandarins
187-8 (Thomas 45, Paterson 39, Madzarevic 46*)
BEAT
Framlingham
Select 184 by two wickets (Hurst 3-35, Gray, JC 2-19).
Framlingham were without Bob Morris for the first time in a while. Although he arranged the fixture for us once again, he was away sailing, whilst Simon Halliday skippered in his stead. It was lucky that for us that this excellent batsman put himself in last, ending up with 1*. Chris Healey put himself in last for Mandarins, which marked an appropriate symmetry.
JC opened the bowling, keeping the top order under control on a ground where runs usually come easily at some stage. The superb setting of The Back demands a half-decent performance, however you're feeling personally. Which meant it was time for Stef to show off again, taking two lightning stumpings down the leg side, and that rare Mandarins event, a catch behind too. Of course, if you'd been watching closely, you'd have seen the subtle signal from the bowler that marked the quicker one flung down the leg-side, which the keeper would gather and use to remove the bails. OK, I'm making that bit up.
Six bowlers were used, most chipping in with a couple of wickets or more.
I must confess that during the second innings I wandered off around the magnificent grounds of the school. Nevertheless, from the score book and what little I did witness, it's clear that time abroad has not compromised any of Damian's aggression, making 76 with Marc for the opening partnership.
Tony Hawkhead and Stephen Dunmore kept the innings ticking along in the middle, followed by Stefan, who marched out to play another controlled innings at five.
The
game was officiated, as has become usual, by John Oldfield and
Michael Foot. Everyone was especially pleased to see Michael
and Wendy once again.
Time was never especially tight, but the bowling had been tight, with wickets falling at regular intervals. Later still, more than a few of the participants became themselves a little tight - sorry, I just couldn't overlook that opportunity.
With only the skipper to come in, two rare full tosses in the penultimate over were despatched by Stef over square leg, giving release to his natural instincts at last.
A competitive game, close almost till the last ball.
Illustration
3: Mandarins in Motion (sort of); from an idea by Richard Eames
Held at The Station and as successful as ever, not least thanks to that phone call. We were pleased to be joined by Jonathan Wilmot, stopping off from a trip to Edinburgh. Stephen decided he wouldn't go home that night, after all.
Illustration
2: Tour Dinner
“I was so unlucky last night”. (A retrospective assessment of the night's poker).
“Three half volleys in three balls – I just can't believe it!” (commenting on a recent over)
“Uh, I was just playing with my play station”. (On being discovered alone in a dark bedroom at midday).
Which end would you like to open from, Tony? [Hawkhead]. On being asked to open the bowling at Brandeston.
Saturday's match was a competitive 30-30 eight-a-side slog between two closely matched Mandarins sides, skippered by Chris Healey and Marc Thomas. It opened as a dual of two families: David & Louis Williams bowling six overs at Andy & Chris McKeon. I reckon that Louis will be quite a handful in a year or two. Remember, you read it here first.
Chris McKeon scored 11, welcome runs after several difficult innings early on in the season, whilst Dad remained 40* after the rule-enforced retirement. Paul Coupar (2-17) and Chris Baker's (2-10) were the pick of the bowlers as Marc's side made it to 91, having failed to use 5 overs.
Incidentally, can anyone tell me why John Porter is used so much more as a batsman, when his bowling is creditably consistent by Mandarins standards? He proved this once again here.
Illustration
4: Brandeston Hall
With the bat, Louis was a handful once again, but this time for his batting partner. “You hit it, I'll run” is a theme that slightly misunderstands the nature of the partnership concept; one that requires both batsman to make it home each ball. Richard coped very well at stemming the tide.
Gus top-scored with 29, but also ran out the in-form Paul Coupar, who was up for the day and threatened to take the game away. In the end, Messrs. Gray and Baker shepherded Chris Healey's side home with 5 overs and two wickets to spare.
Illustration
5: Tony's taste in wine was much admired, but it took a while to
find the right play list for Poker.
There's a great squad photo of this match that Ollie Gardiner took with his massively professional looking camera and tripod. No doubt soon to be available at the usual place.
Sunday is always a bit of an anti-climax. Tour Central returns to being just an empty boarding house again. Some tidying up, and making sure that everyone gets to the last fixture. As usual, people forget stuff: trousers, corkscrews, CDs etc.
Our last game was at Nazeing Common, which is most of the way home for North Londoners. A first fixture for us, and it looks to be an ideal way to sign off the tour. Our hosts made us feel most welcome, even after half of us were late by up to 40 minutes. Rob Eastaway, the inspiration for this fixture, was justifiably disgruntled by our bad manners.
Nazeing made steady progress with the bat on an easy-paced, true strip, and obviously have a wealth of talent in their junior ranks with handy support from the older hands. Details are hazy, and the score book in front of me seems to be slightly awry – I definitely bowled more than 3 overs! But I recall Rob bowling his usual tight stuff; Nick Redman got better and better through the day, even on his second spell; and Richard bowled a long accurately spell that was unlucky not to be rewarded by wickets. David Williams took two good catches in the deep, contrasting favourably with the ones the rest of us didn't take.
Nazeing made 206 for 6 by tea.
Andy McKeon and Stephen Dunmore made a solid 79 to start, which eased the pressure on the rest of us somewhat. Going in at number three I (why me? An explanation: at tea, no-one volunteered to bat at number three, probably out of fourth day decrepitude, or perhaps because the whole crazy ball tampering fiasco was just then developing live at the Oval. Anyway, having propped up too many innings this summer, I volunteered), had benefited from a spell in the nets with Ollie. For the first time in years it felt that, if I was not yet in the Zone, the Zone was at least near at hand. The ball looked big, and time was idling like it should in that special place.
That said, I confess I was soon back in the pavilion. After failing to vocalise a call for a single to Extra Cover I found myself at the same end as Stephen. Or maybe I did call it; but to myself, in my own little zone. Anyway, no-one else heard anything.
Everyone else subsequently contributed to this innings, which saw some great striking of the ball in a self-enforced run chase. Damian's short innings comprised a huge near-6 over the longest boundary, all the more impressive for a man with a dodgy elbow. David and Gus made double figures pushing the pace, whilst Rob and Nick looked very comfortable during their time at the crease, losing their wicket only to the limited time available. At the end, and in the last over, Chris McKeon and Richard made it safe for the last wicket, as Mandarins came close with 182/9.
Another great day, and an excellent fixture which bears repeating.
Nazeing
Common 206 for 6 (Gardiner 2-30)
Mandarins 182 for 9 (McKeon, A
44, Dunmore 42)
MATCH DRAWN
Thanks are due to many people, not least:
the teams who entertained us, and the guys who arranged it. Thanks especially to Alan Charnock and Bob Morris, of Essex and Framlingham, and to Nazeing Common for being our hosts on Sunday. We are grateful.
Barrie, who arranged dinner;
Tony, who selected and brought the excellent choice of wine.
Carole Baker for her wonderful cake on Saturday;
Andrew Payn, the groundsman and staff at Framlingham College;
Various people who kept me from buying my own drinks, and everyone who helped out with routine stuff.
We will run a surplus on the monies, thanks due in part to donations from several tourists, and especially Jonathan and Tony. This will be for the benefit of the Robert Foot Leukaemia Fund.
The tour was once again well supported and its future appears secure, in the short term at least. No doubt the opportunity to combine a personal holiday with a little cricket in this delightful corner of England is reason enough.
Four days is just enough time to build a sub culture that drags people back even after some years away. But it has evolved over the years, and we need be mindful that the old saying “the darkest hour is just before dawn”, has a converse.
I think what I'm trying to say is that we mustn't complacently assume that the product will sell forever or that the formula is permanently right. Suggestions and ideas, however radical, are always welcome. Can I see a show of hands for a fifth day, maybe a 20-20 on Wednesday evening around Colchester and a night at Essex University? Just thinking out loud.
Our fixtures seem reasonably secure in the short term, with the possible exception of Pimpernels. Saturday's “family” game was enjoyed by most, I think, and was always my Plan B in case Pimps didn't quite make it, which it turned out they didn't. I strongly suspect that the date of the match being the final weekend of the local leagues is no help to them. Anyway, next year is Pimpernels' 50th anniversary, and the last before Rod hands on to a new generation. I feel sure that it will be something special.
Till August 2007, and mail me your ideas.
Andy Heard