The Internet forgets nothing, and as “Robin” (think Egyptian monarchs) points out: after several years at University, he's finally trying to be a serious person; but whenever you google him, top of the list is some Mandarins match report which, by the nature of these things, is rarely kind to its subject. So names have been abbreviated; but I'm sure you'll guess who I mean.
Rather than focus on each match in linear order, I'm going to first focus on observations of technique as exhibited by our elite squad; highlight this with practical examples from play – highlighted with vivid and explicit illustrations - and a few linking comments and you have a Tour Report. Most of the pictures are here, and there's always the Great Mandarins Sayings We've Never Heard, courtesy of a certain dinner at The Station (you had to be there...)
Catching was as dismal as ever, but with a few glittering exceptions. Churlishly, I planned to keep a running total of drops and catches, but had already lost count before we left Colchester. Many are associated with specific comedy. Tony running around in circles like the proverbial chicken, then chiding the rest of us for not “calling” it as his. Who else, Tony?
And then there's unlucky Damian (“DP”, “Damo”) who failed a difficult trial at deep-square; and, aghast, stood statuesque in the final pose for some duration, unable to believe that the ball was now in the tennis courts behind him.
I'd rather concontrate on what went well though. At Pimpernels, JP took a magnificent catch at long-off, running backwards with the ball over his shoulder at the point of capture. Other honourable mentions go to Stephen D. who removed the key opening batsman at Framlingham by taking a catch on the long-on boundary. Tidy glovework by Chris H (aka. “Semi” - you'll have to ask) and Jonathan W included at least three takes between them. Ollie took three at Essex (but don't ask about Fram.) and I took a simple chance at point. I also remember Chris B taking a sharp one – but that doesn't count, because he also bowled it.
In mitigation, I will say that, with few exceptions, the culprits were generally filled with remorse, which is not always the case (Ok, I'm bitter about this; as bowlers generally are). I put this down to the settings for the Suffolk matches, which seem to demand excellence.
The fielding wasn't all that bad, overall, considering. As has been often noted, decent performance and effort to succeed is infectious. For example, we fielded generally very well at Pimpernels where, surprising as much to me as everyone else, I found myself at gully and able to stop most of what came my way (cynics might point out that chucking myself to the floor will save me a chase to the boundary, even if I don't stop the ball).
We often joke about lack of fitness, but that it would be unfair to apply this slight to the whole company. Gus was on his 10 km run when I called to sign him up; at least two Mandarins have completed marathons (JP, David Williams), and DP was regretting that an ankle injury had put him behind on his fitness schedule. And it shows: both JP and JC had many times hared across the ground – from long-on to deep mid-wicket, say - to return balls that somewhat less agile fielders a third the distance away were labouring to reach.
The
batting was dominated by one great performance and a smaller number
of solid supporting roles. Chris H made 130 runs from three
matches; and frankly, no oppostion bowler had looked like getting
Chris out. To balance up the odds, we got him out ourselves: Jonathan
was suitably contrite when he trudged off The Back, having run
Chris out and then failed to shoulder the innings responsibility
himself.
Stephen D made 41 off his only innings, on Friday. Nick D provided solid support in the same match, making 14 for himself. It was a regret that, for different reasons, these proved to be the only innings these players made on tour.
JP's 18 & 29 at the head of the innings provided a good start to both matches, even if he still can't play the late cut; or perhaps we should say, the late waft outside off stump. Honestly, JP, have a net with Chris – he's got some advice for you!
The other Chris (B) was not messing around at Pimpernels, soaring to 44 with some mightly blows.
Tony gloved one to the keeper at Essex (“it's not very friendly out there”) and was unlucky with the umpire at Pimps. And at Fram he “struggled with his form” (as they say) against some accurate opening swing.
Liam looked a lot better than his meagre statistics suggest, being run out once (by his own efforts, apparently) and fell at Pimpernels whilst trying to push the score on.
Our
bowling was, shall we say, “consistent”. Five maidens
from Ollie and JC
began the innings against the Bob
Morris Select; similarly against Pimps. Wicket taking was more of a
problem, with only five going down in total on Friday and Saturday. I
felt sort-of happy with my own performance, which was tidy enough
after sorting out my runup. But it was the rubbish ball that took my
only wicket.
Because of the overall lack of wickets, the numbers look pretty ordinary, with only Martin (2-26, off 6) and DP (3-15, off 2.2!) taking more than one in a match.
On a breezy, cool day, Essex University made 119 a.o. after Ollie won the toss and put them in (we only had 9 players at the ground when we started, so you can see the logic). But choosing whether to bat or bowl always seems hard, because as Jeremy put it: “we're not a good chasing side”; and after further thought: “on the other hand, we're not a containment bowling side either”.
A rain shower at the interval threatened the second innings, but it relented and after a slow start (“120 looks a long way off”) Gus and Chris laid for foundations for us to win by six wickets. JP, Chris & Chris, DP and Gus all made it into double figures.
The
usual magnificent setting for the match against what I call the Bob
Morris Select XI – but which Bob insists is basically a
Framlingham College side – saw a slow start by the home team.
With the important wicket of Simon Halliday taken by Ollie,
and Liam looking
dangerous as first change, we looked to have a good start.
Their score ticked along quickly as Jeremy and Chris H were brought on, though at less than 6 runs per over, we contained them quite well I thought. I won't say that the batsmen were trying to get out, exactly, but they were certainly taking chances; it's just that we didn't take them. Still, 208 for 2 is not beyond reach on The Back.
We started badly, losing Tony and Liam early on; then Chris batting with Nick and Jonathan brought us much of the way there before it all fell apart. DP had a 'mare, losing his off stump to an ugly swipe. Going in last, Jeremy decided that batting out 8 overs was not the decent thing to do (quite right, I say, though Nick for one disagrees) and scooped to mid off.
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Micheal and Wendy Foot were present at Framlingham to watch the action, which is a most happy repeating ritual.
The score line for this game (match drawn: Mandarins 195-8; Pimpernels 154-3) was perhaps less significant than everything else about it. The match was played in the magnificent setting of Culford School – large boundaries (with rope!), proper covers, rolled wicket, nearby river; all that sort of thing. I don't recall playing anywhere better.
This was Rod Blackmore's fiftieth and last year running the Pimpernels side, which is also to be Pimps final season. Mandarins have been playing the match for some 22 years, and as a mark of gratitide for so much hospitality, we came together in a guard of honour to applaud him into his last innings against us. And then tried in vain for the next hour or more to get him out! He finished on 34*, making a last wicket partnership of 82 with a youngster who reached his first ever 50. Coincidentally, 82 was also the combined ages of the batsmen. And so the cycle renews.
Although the cricket itself was played more as a performing art than a gritty competitive event, this didn't seem to matter that much. The pitch had plenty of bounce, but was too true to offer much to bowling of our level, especially with the old ball, that I remember feeling peculiarly light and spherically featureless in my hand.
We did get to see the rare sights of Gus and Tony bowling in tandem, and ten bowlers being used during the innings. Who can argue against that as a spectacle.
Nazeing Common was called off at midday in the face of poor weather with worse in prospect.
The usual curry was fine enough, though the wine, which was sniffed, tasted and passed fit for consumption by JC, did not pass the Tony Test. Adjudged corked – though the rotten remains of the cork itself could not be located – it was replaced. Short of extreme allergies, why drink red wine in a provincial curry house anyway?
Poker
was the basis of the post-midnight entertainment with new
terminology being founded. To add to the Eastaway Fold, we now
have the Davidson Shuffle (which is no shuffle at all),
followed by the Davidson Deal (too few hands).
We also had our share of unusual hands, most notably – thanks for the reminder, Chris - Gus's three kings being blown apart on the turn and river by Nick's 5s: four of them. I'm told that you won't see that one very often. Gus was, of course, “all-in” for this hand, which only adds to the pleasure!
Dinner at the Station was a superb event, though the Railway had its attractions too. Only the weather was dissapointing, but we were lucky at both Essex and Pimps. Who knows, one year, we might even complete all four games...
A number of late “injuries” and withdrawals “for family reasons” left this as a thin tour party, with barely 13 people at its height, smaller numbers still staying at Pembroke. But it retained all the atmosphere of better supported years. I'd go again this Thursday, if I could.